A cry for help on the blockchain.
Whitepaper V1.1 June 2025

đź’” $SIMP: The First Emotionally Broken Token

đź§  Abstract


In an industry overflowing with mission statements about revolutionizing finance, tokenizing real estate, or building “the next Ethereum,” $SIMP cuts through the noise with something radical: emotional honesty.

Built on Solana, launched fair on pump.fun, and powered by pure regret, $SIMP is the first memecoin that rewards pain, celebrates bad decisions, and builds an ecosystem around emotional volatility. It doesn’t promise a better world — it promises a sadder wallet. And we think that’s beautiful.

🎯 Purpose

Most crypto projects try to fix a problem. We decided to monetize one.

There is a growing global economy of tipping, simping, emotional labor, and parasocial relationships. Billions are spent on validation that disappears after a “ty” emoji. $SIMP doesn’t aim to stop it — it aims to tokenize it, reward it, and laugh about it on X.



If Bitcoin is digital gold,

then $SIMP is digital heartbreak.


Technology
  • Blockchain: Solana
  • Total Supply: 1,000,000,000 $SIMP
  • Launch Method: 100% fair launch via pump.fun
  • Presale / VC / Dev tax: None. We’re all equally down bad.
Why Solana?

Because it’s fast, cheap, and degens love it.

We don’t want gas fees getting in the way of emotional bankruptcy.

Tokenomics

We designed our tokenomics to reflect the emotional structure of the average $SIMP holder: irrational, chaotic, but somehow balanced.

  • Fair Launch - 100%
    All tokens distributed via pump.fun - no presale, no private round, no airdrop abuse.
  • Founder Bags - 5–8%.
    Bought manually on the bonding curve. Founders are not immune to emotional loss.
  • SimpVault - Manual
    Community treasury used for memes, marketing, SimpScore rewards, DAO bribes.
  • SimpDrop - Ongoing
    Weekly airdrops to user-voted “Queens.” Democracy, but sad.

Price floor: whatever the last holder is willing to accept after being ghosted.

$SIMPING

đź‘‘ Descentralized $SIMP Protocol DSP

The Decentralized Simping Protocol governs how $SimpDrops are distributed weekly:


Step 1:

$SIMP holders comment “Queen 👑” on selected partner X (Twitter) accounts.


Step 2:

Holders lock their SIMP for 7 days minimum to be eligible for voting.


Step 3:

DAO votes weekly on which “Queen” gets the airdrop.

The Queen gets paid. You get ignored.


We believe this is the most democratic simping system in the history of Web3.

đź§  SimpScore System

We track every wallet’s emotional behavior through our SimpScore.

Metrics include:

  • Holding duration
  • Volume of $SIMP sent to Queens
  • Loss %
  • Twitter comment activity
  • Number of “I’m fine” posts after being left on read

The higher your score, the more access you unlock:

  • Custom NFTs
  • Exclusive merch
  • DAO voting power
  • Emotional breakdowns in group chat

🛍️ Merch Utility

Our token-gated merch store unlocks by the end of August 2025.


Users will be able to purchase their favourite merch using $SIMP coins.

Based on SimpScore tiers, users will have access to special merch.

đź“„ Legal Disclaimer

$SIMP has no intrinsic value.

It is not backed by a central bank, real-world assets, or emotional maturity.

This token is designed for entertainment, satire, and shared digital heartbreak.

Any resemblance to actual coins or real relationships is purely coincidental.

đź’¬ Final Words

$SIMP isn’t here to change the world.

It’s here to help us laugh through the pain of trying to.


If you’ve ever:

– Tipped someone online you’ll never meet

– Bought a coin because the mascot was cute

– Held through a 98% drop because “maybe it’ll bounce”

Then $SIMP is your tribe.

BUY

HOLD AND CRY

REPEAT