The Emotional Roadmap of the $SIMP Token

The Emotional Roadmap

The creators of $Simp Coin cleverly designed an emotional rollercoaster to take innocent investors on a ride of volatility and heartbreak while promising fake utility.

Broken dreams

While we cannot advise financial decisions, it's worth carefully evaluating any investments that seem too good to be true, as they often capitalize on people's hopes and dreams.

Invest wisely

There are many genuine opportunities in the world. It's best to avoid emotional or reactionary financial decisions, and instead develop sound investment habits over time.

The $SIMP Map

Some coins promise utility. We promise emotional volatility.

Here’s what’s (emotionally) coming:

July 1st 2025 - Birth of the $SIMP

$SIMP launches fair via pump.fun.

The pain begins.

Mid July 2025 - SimpScore and War

We launch the SimpScore Leaderboard to track wallet loyalty, shame, and pain.

DAO voting opens for weekly $Simp airdrops.

First meme war declared on rival tokens.

September 2025 - Merch for the Damaged

The $SIMP merch store goes live:

– “I bought her Lambo with $SIMP” hoodie

– “She said thanks” dad cap

And many more!

October 2025 - $SIMP Staking and Queens

Stake $SIMP to earn Validation Points.

Vote monthly for “Thirst Trap of the Month”

This roadmap is a lie, just like she said she loved you. But $SIMP is real. And so is the regret.